Review : "The courage to be disliked" BY Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

 

"The Courage to Be Disliked" is a self-help book written by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

The book is based on the philosophy of Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist and psychotherapist who developed a theory of personality and a method of individual psychology.

The book is structured as a dialogue between a young man seeking guidance and a wise philosopher, and uses examples from literature, history, and the author's own experiences to illustrate Adler's ideas.

According to the author, the main reasons for our lives being a struggle are lack of courage to live in the present, interpersonal relationship problems, denying other people's tasks, fear of change, and not loving oneself. We all think that what we are today is based on our past experiences and traumas. But the past is long gone and we have to live in the present. Just because your parents are poor, not supportive, or denying you all the time, or you were rejected by your loved ones or experienced a breakup in a relationship doesn't mean that you are having a struggle. What matters most is how you are acting now. You can let go of the past and be free.

 Freedom is being disliked by other people because in an interpersonal relationship, whether or not someone dislikes me or you is that person's task, not mine or yours. 

"The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked." Rather than lacking a desire for recognition, you hold the key to your own life. The best part in a relationship is "One has to stand on one's own feet, take one's own steps forward with the task of interpersonal relations." One needs to think not "What will this person give me?" But rather, "What can I give to this person?" (commitment to the community). 

The value that adds to your life is how you are beneficial to the community. You can make a difference in your community by volunteering your time and resources to help those in need. Help a friend or family member in need: Sometimes the people we care about most are the ones who need our help the most. If you have a particular skill or expertise, consider offering it to others. Be a good neighbor: It's easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget about the people who live around us.

 Be a positive influence: Finally, you can be beneficial to others simply by being a positive influence in their lives. You can help inspire others to be their best selves and make a positive difference in the world.

 "You should start with no regard to whether others are cooperative or not." 

Focus on what you can do to achieve your goals and make progress, regardless of the actions or attitudes of others. By doing this, you'll be able to stay focused and make progress even when faced with challenges or obstacles. Remember, you are in control of your own actions and attitudes, and by staying positive and focused, you can make a positive difference in your own life and in the lives of those around you.

TASK FOR SELF : ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS 

1.Are you okay just as you are?

2.Do you feel good about yourself and your choices ?

3.Are you able to handle stress and difficult situations with grace and resilience?

4.Do you feel a sense of purpose and meaning in your life?

5.Are you able to enjoy the present moment?

6.ARE YOU LIVING THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE ?

If the answers are all good, then congratulations, you are living a great life. If not, what are you going to do? Are you going to change your mindset or change your way of living?

If you are not living your life for yourself, then who is going to live it for you?